From the category archives:

Gifts for baby

We had our 30 week (or, to be exact, 29 weeks and 5 days) appointment this afternoon!  It went quite well.  My blood tests from our 28 week appointment came back with some interesting results:

1) I have no issue processing sugars.  This was surprising to me!  I ate some white flour a few days before the test and felt horrible.  I’ve also been having some flora imbalance issues that are taking a rather long time to completely work out.  THUS, the pessimist in me felt 78% certain that I must have gestational diabetes.  Alas, this is not the case at all.  My sugar was on the very lowest end of what one’s normal glycemic range should be after consuming sugar, sugar, and more sugar for breakfast.

2) My Hematocrit levels were EXCELLENT.  My iron is off the hook with badassary!  One would think that I paid more than what I feel to be a minimal effort to eat well!  I suppose that it’s a very good thing that I don’t really crave horrible foods.  All this good iron indicates that I will have a much smaller chance of hemorrhaging during our home birth.  If pregnant woman’s Hematocrit is lower than 30%, she has to deliver in a hospital.  I am at 38%.

3) I have gained 22 pounds.  Frankly, I find this a little excessive.  This is because I very suddenly gained a few extra pounds during the month before I got pregnant, so I technically feel as if I am up 27 extra pounds.  She says that my 22 pound gain is perfect for my 5’10″ height.  What she says goes; I guess I’ll chalk these pounds all up to baby fat and pat myself on the back for all of the really really hard work I’m doing on keeping pregnancy so healthy.  Yeah?  Ok, just kidding.

I am serious when I confess that I am a lazy lazy pregnant lady who does exactly as her will tells her to do.   I just now had lunch at Chipotle and then stopped at the Cinnamon Works counter   on my way home for a blueberry bar.  And, no, blueberries are NOT local right now!  But my will made me do it!  Granted, Cinnamon Works bakes with far less sugar a whole lot of nuts- it is definitely the healthiest cookie option in town! But still!  Who needs a blueberry bar after a 790 calorie lunch at Chipolte?  Surely, no single Wednesday evening yoga class could heal this type of gluttony?

Milton did say when we stopped into Chipolte that I was sure to gain 3 more pounds by tomorrow.  But hey!  I have an idea!  Why not just not weigh myself again until next week?  Yeah, perfect.

4) The baby, though still a mover and a shaker who is not necessarily staying head down, seems to have progressed normally according to all the listening, poking, and measuring.  He’s still very playful in his movement, and has always been pretty active.  Go, little Benson, go!

With all of this good news, I have to tell you that the pessimist in me is waiting for the other shoe to drop.  The chubby-cheeked optimist in me is healthy enough to handle 10 pairs of shoes that are really really cute.

Thanks to my girl Kathy T for these!


My father has been appearing in my dreams a lot lately.  Probably because I feel myself overlapping with my father at this particular part of my life.  When he was my age, I was 8 years old.  Which, in hindsight, is halfway through my life with him, as he passed away when I was 17.  But in many ways I see my parents as wise beyond their years in their parenting of me, and I only hope I can meet the bar that they’ve set.  I’m gonna try real hard.

In the meantime, I am discovering that I’m also highly sensitive to the thought of “changing” when I become a father.  I don’t like changing in predictable ways, and the more people say things like “oh, you’re going to think completely differently about things once you’re a parent” the more I resist those changes.  I want my changes to come from inside me, and not to be guided by expectations or stereotypes or the occasional cynical remark.

That said, I’ve already become much more of a home-body, just as the stereotypes dictate.  Ahead of time, even.  Half because I don’t want to leave my lovely pregnant wife at home by herself and half because I feel like I’m in some kind of cocoon state that is requiring all of my subconscious resources to build new subconscious structures to help transition me into the new responsibilities and opportunities of fatherhood.  That, and I’ve also become somewhat of a workaholic, at least in terms of hours.  I feel like this is my last couple months to really devote myself 100% to the foundation of my self-employment, and even though I’ll be as loyal to work and career after I become a father, it will no longer be the primary recreational activity that occupies my brain.  Also, I’m loving work right now and that’s pretty awesome to have.  Of course, even though people don’t actually say this to me, I feel like the male stereotype of PROVIDING that complements the female stereotype of NESTING is one I should resist.  Yeah, it’s all a little neurotic but that’s just the way my brain’s wired.  I will do everything I can to help the family, but I will never claim to having sole responsibility for the providing, nor exclusion from the nesting.  Enough about that.

Today Esther and I purchased some art supplies that we’ll be putting to use in the next week as our first joint art project.  In a way, other than our genes and bodies and minds, this will be the first physical gift that we give to our future son.  It’s quite fun to be able to celebrate and meditate on him through creative art projects.