Happy Birthday, Baby!

by Esther on Sat, May 14th, 2011

in Baby,Challenges,Documentation,Sleep,Year 1

One year ago tonight I went to a burlesque show with great hope of finding some loving, sexy energy that would slide my baby out from his comfortable nest within.  My water broke during intermission.

One year ago tomorrow, I became a mother.  I’m sad to report that I haven’t been to a single burlesque show (or show in general) since.  I am happy to report the following:

Axelrod has been with us for a year.  He is amazing.  He is sweet and hilarious.  He, like the other people I am attracted to and love, is already somewhat complicated and layered.  He somehow manages to embody the adjectives slow, easy, feeling, introspective and observant while also being silly, stubborn, persistent, curious, and happy.

Today, while I sat and typed a gratuitous email on my iPhone, Niko cruised around our coffee table with a crumpled dollar in his hand.  Trying to get my attention, proud of his acquisition, he waved to me.  I smiled and continued to type while watching him from my periphery.   He reached the end of the coffee table, grinning, and took three steps towards me.  These are his first multiple steps!  He did them without any encouragement.  It is so like him to wait until we don’t expect him to do something, then get right into it.  He laughed, we laughed.  We all knew we were having a moment.

To prepare for those three steps, his sleep has been difficult lately. When I say “difficult,” I mean to the tune of hourly + wakings a night.  Every 2 hours, I seem to be able to handle.  Every hour?  Not so easily.  It is a testament to how awesome this kid is when I tell you that we continue to survive and continue to laugh with him for the majority of our day.  We trust that his second year will bring more rest to the whole family.

This year, I have learned so much.  I don’t know how to put it all into words.  I am practicing patience.  I am navigating the wilds of marriage with new added richness and responsibility.  I am learning, through my child, how to be more authentic and true to myself.  I am learning how to forget about an afternoon of stress and, instead, just go to the playground!  I am learning to let go, while holding together so much.

I never knew my heart could be so full.  I never knew that the simplest children’s books could make me cry so much.  I never knew how much one very small person could change my life.  I never knew that hard work could be so gratifying, or that something so gratifying could be so difficult.  I never really understood how much being a parent could change me; I realize that no one could ever know.

Obviously, I am so glad that we decided to walk down this road.  I love my little family, utterly, and can not imagine my life without this husband or baby.  I am so thankful to have both of those spirits in my life.  I feel totally fortunate.  Even in my darkest, most resentful moments (believe me, I’ve had many), I feel grateful.

Thanks so much to all of you for following us along on this journey.  And!

 

Happy Birthday, Axelrod!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Heather Sun, May 15th, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Beautiful words. Happy Birthday to Axelrod and congratulations to Mom and Dad on completing the first, wild year of parenthood.

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2 Sandra Mort Sun, Jun 5th, 2011 at 4:14 am

I was on facebook where a friend told me about 750 words, so I went there and signed up. Today was my first day, so I logged in and wrote, then noticed a link to this blog. Of course, how could I resist a daddy blogging about his baby?

Anyway, I was replying to tell you how delicious A. is, but also to say that there IS sleep in your future. I promise. I’ve got four kids and my biggest obstacle to sleep is my own insomnia. If you’re having a rough time, Happiest Baby On the Block is supposed to be good (I’ve never actually read it, but people I trust swear by it) and I really loved The No Cry Sleep Solution. If you’re having a rough time, and it sounds like you are, I’d suggest picking up both and seeing what resonates with you from each of them.

Also, congrats on nursing for a year!! I know lots of people think “OH, 12 months, I’m done!” but if you’re still nursing 4+ times overnight, I think it’s likely you’re not one of them :) Extended nursing, or whatever you wish to call it, is really important for A and I applaud you for making the commitment to him. The WHO recommends a minimum of 24 months, which I personally think is a great goal, but every day is a gift. You’re doing a fabulous job, Mama! And he’s awfully cute… did I mention that already?

I’m glad you guys had a wonderful celebration and I look forward to reading more about A. since I can’t have a baby this year and will likely never have another one again :( They say that you have that magical DONE feeling sooner or later… but I’m still waiting!!

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