19 weeks, 5 days

by Esther on Thu, Dec 17th, 2009

in Week 20

In a day and a half, we will head to an ultrasound appointment to see the last pictures of our baby until the pictures we take ourselves when the baby arrives.

In a day and a half, we will be given an envelope that contains the most interesting news.  In less than 48 hours, we will open that envelope over dinner.  The contents of the envelope will settle a bet that decides who pays for dinner.

We have a pizza resting on the sex of our baby.  If the contents of the envelope reveal that the baby is a girl, I pay for the pizza.  If the envelope reveals the baby to be a boy, my husbandface pays for the pizza.

Our sides seem arbitrary.  Or, rather, it seemed so until earlier this week when Milton has  decided that he is 90% sure that the baby will be a girl because he had a dream about her. 90% odds are hardly arbitrary.

I somewhat randomly decided that this baby will be a boy because a hobby numerologist, a Brooklyn girl who insists her ring test has never been wrong, and my acupuncturist, all say BOY.  I also once had an overwhelming BOY feeling when I visited the house that we are in (contingent on sale of our current place) contract for buying..

I saw myself in that house with a boy, and told my husband, “We should bid!”  Of course,  a few months later we are still in our small but spectacular downtown condo (with no separate bedroom), which has been sadly ignored by the perfect buyer (or any buyer, really).  With that in mind, my vision is possibly moot.  For that matter, the vision of anyone doesn’t mean much.  Any little boy or girl cooking inside of me will be raised around plenty of people who later in life bent their gender roles accordingly… so while the visions of our well meaning friends might be profoundly on point, they could have nothing to do with the current state of genitalia growing inside of me.

Right?  So why is this so important?  As important as pizza, anyway?

Milton says that the baby isn’t real to him until it has a gender assignment.  To quote, “It’s just a little animal.”  But I say that it’s a little animal (OUR little animal) no matter what gender it is.

My whole reason for finding out the baby’s gender is the fact that I want to name the baby before the baby comes.  I want to have greater reason not to refer to my baby as it any longer.  Not that I’ll tell anyone the baby’s name until the day he or she arrives, mind you, but I will start referring to the baby with the proper gender assigning pronoun.

In the meantime, we’re hanging out playing little games with each other.  Asking each other, “Right now.  What sex do you think the baby is?  How correct do you think your feeling is, on the scale of 1 to 10?”  It’s a pretty fun game, but in the end I honestly don’t care.  I have good reasons to want a girl and good reasons to want a boy.  Mostly I just want a healthy baby.  For serious.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Megan Fri, Dec 18th, 2009 at 2:56 am

I saw this cute, little, baby tutu and I think your baby should have it, regardless of gender.


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