Back to My Yoga Practice

by Esther on Wed, Oct 28th, 2009

in Week 13

I feel a whole lot better suddenly.  It’s as if someone flipped off the switch to my nausea button and logged off my 12 hours a night sleep account.  This is good.

I was able this morning to go to a yoga class for the first time in 3 weeks.  I only felt a little bit dizzy and a little bit pukey for a little bit of time.  Mostly, I delighted in stretching all my stagnating muscles out.  I am impressed that this body is still holding some limber qualities after 2 months of barely working out.  I suppose that those 8 years of yogafication don’t really leave after 3 months of babification.  Thank goodness.  Keep up the good work, body!

One thing that I am noticing when I do make it to yoga class is a sense of baby awareness that is far more abstract when, say, I’m at work.  I feel accountable in my practice to keep as much oxygen and blood flowing to my uterus as possible, which requires all of these tweaks to my posturing, thus ushering in a maintained hour-long baby awareness.  There is no longer a set intention that resides outside my body.  I admit that I’m not praying for peace, praying for my family, or praying to the sun.  I am, rather, singing this physical baby making song and trying to sing in the tune of an aware woman.

Odd to notice that even after three weeks without practice, my balance seems to have improved.  Don’t get me wrong, my balance was never good to begin with.  I still fell out of half moon during my practice today.  But, usually, after 3 weeks of absolute neglect, I can barely hold half moon without shaking and quaking.  Today was different.  I was steady, strong, grounded.  This could be due to my recent long-term sobriety and vast hydration.  Or it could be something more profound, which is what my emotional, hormone-driven, yoga-high  mind is currently preferring.  I’m not sure what this sense of the profound can be named.  I guess I’m not that sage.

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