Back and forth between excited and scared

by Milton on Sat, Sep 12th, 2009

in Week 07

We’re on day 42, or the beginning of the 7th week, or at 6 weeks, depending on how you want to be confused.

Esther’s last pregnancy ended on day 41, so we’re a little relieved to have that behind us.  Still, Esther is still a bit skeptical that everything will continue as smoothly as we’re hoping.  Yesterday, we did the math compared to her last pregnancy and realized that we were actually 5 days past the point that she had started spotting and cramping last time.

She also took an additional pregnancy test this morning (not one of the First Response ones like before–we wanted to EARN that plus sign).  The first one was broken (the control didn’t turn blue), but the second one was super duper blue as can be.  So that’s good, right?

Of course, no amount of evidence of being pregnant will actually make the fears go away that perhaps the pregnancy will end tomorrow.

How often do miscarriages actually happen?  The statistics are all over the place.  I’ve heard that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage within the first 14 weeks.  That’s 1 in 5.  I’ve also heard 1/12 and 1/20 thrown around on the low side, and 6/10 on the high side if you count pregnancies that people don’t even realize they had because they ended so early.  Do I just average them out and flip a coin?  No, we just wait while the coin flips in the air, taking literally months to turn up heads or tails.  We all hope for heads, not tails, right?

I’ve always considered myself a lucky person.  Does this mean that we’re more likely to beat the odds?  Should I wear the same shirt every day that things continue normally in the hopes that the shirt has magical powers?  Okay, maybe I won’t go that far.

Writing it out, albeit semi-anonymously, helps me, at least.  We have many good friends and even family that haven’t been told about this yet, because I don’t want them to force them to empathize with our emotional roller-coaster as much as they had to last time.

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